Its been a while since i felt the need to vent, but tonight is just one of those nights. The last few weeks have been a steady buildup of stress which is totally not what i was expecting. As of 3 weeks ago, i am finally done with NY Maritime.. a graduate, licensed 3rd engineer and also with that unemployed. I was hoping to be working by now, but alas no plan really ever goes as i had hoped. I have applied to a dozen or so places, all private companies in an effort to avoid going union if at all possible. Joining one of the big unions is basically guaranteed work, however not exactly what i am looking for. Most of the jobs are long hitches, 3-4 months at the minimum. Also just the idea of jumping ship to ship is not all that appealing.

There was one particular company which i interviewed with that was looking very good thanks to a reference from an old room mate, but its been almost a month with no word yet. The basic story behind the hiring freeze is that they building a whole bunch of ships and hired a bunch of people as a result. However all of the ships are behind schedule and until they are back on track, all hiring was suspended. So basically i am playing the waiting game until things are back up to speed.

So the question thats stands is do i wait around for this job to open up or do i take something else if offered. I am still actively looking, but the question is just deep in my mind. And how long do i look for something in the private sector before i break down and just join one of the unions. These questions have been keeping me up.. i feel like i am just idling right now and time is wasting away. Also while my parents have not really brought up the unemployment thing up to me yet.. i have a feeling its going to be asked eventually. And frankly i dont blame them, 3 weeks already and i have yet to make much progress other than alot of applications into the abyss.

Oh how i long for the warm weather to come back. I have been looking at the temperature averages practically every weekend and it seems we are atleast on the upswing now as far as the averages go. My desire to take the 951 out for a ride is huge, but it will have to wait another 7 weeks or so. Those mind clearing drives every few days are deeply missed.

I have been thinking hard about what the future holds this year. There are a ton of things i want to do, a few of them being sort of like little mini vacations. But without knowing what i will be doing after i graduate in May really means i cant make any solid plans. One of the things i will be doing for sure this year is making one of the track days in mid April at the new NJ MotorSport Park. I guess i am very fortunate to have 3 race tracks within a pretty reasonable 2.5-3 hour drive from me. I am really hoping to make one of the track days up at Watkins Glen in late May. Watkins Glen is about a 7-8 hour drive for me but all i hear is what a great track it is. That same weekend is a PCA club race id like to attend, just to check out all the cool hardware making its rounds on the track. But its really weird to think i have no idea whats going to be going on come May. Id also like to make the annual 944 Fest at Nelson Lodge's Ohio, another race track. I have been wanting to make 944 Fest for probably the past 3 years now but never really had the chance. It will be great to meet up with some other crazy people deveoted too a 20 year old car.

I dont know what to think really. I have been looking forward to graduating ever since i stepped foot on the NY Maritime campus because the place is frankly a place of some very bad memories. But thinking about all of this real like and career stuff is a little scary yet extremely exciting at the same time. While my having attended NYM and graduating from here will give me a great start at real life, i feel like its one of the big reasons i have been held back so much in everything else in life at the same time. I really cant wait to start getting things on track.

For the past week i have been settling into for what will basically be my routine until May when classes end and dare i say..i graduate. Commuting from home has its perks, no need to live on campus and its a relief knowing i can go home when im day dreaming sitting in class. The major downside is the commute in, which actually is not bad. All of my classes start either late in the morning or early in the afternoon, so for the most part i avoid all the high traffic times. The downside of the commuting however is i am at the mercy of the weather and for the next two months roughly the snow can really hamper things. I had to experience last week already having to drive in during a pretty rough snow fall period. The Mercedes isnt bad though, alot less stressful than driving the p-car in the snow.

I saw the movie Yes Man last night and have to say i really enjoyed it. Having seen the previews i thought it was a typical Jim Carrey comedy, but i have to admit there have been some fantastic movies with him in it not too long ago..notably Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Aside from some good comedy and Zooey Deschanel who is gorgeous , the movie has a interesting premise and think its release date of just before the new year is practically perfect. Basically a man challenges himself to say yes to everything for one year. Though obviously the movie is a comedy, i think the underlying concept and message is a pretty real one that some can relate to. The message is simple i think, be open to all possibilities and follow your heart. Obviously one cannot say yes to everything, but i think it has made me really think a little harder before i say no to something. I guess its rare leaving a comedy after its ended feeling inspired.

A great line from the movie..

"The world is a playground. You know that when you're a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it."